I’m suffering from M.D.L. Mother’s. Day. Letdown. I seem to suffer from it each year around this time. I know that Mother’s Day is a difficult holiday for many women. Whether you have lost your mother, struggle with your mother, are unable to become a mother, or never seem to reach that idealist level of motherhood, this holiday can be a doozy.
Each year I have this beautiful vision of waking up to a peaceful and loving household. I imagine my children writing heartfelt notes to me that they have worked on all week. We will spend the day going for a walk, playing games, and basking in the glory of motherhood.
The reality is that one or all of my children seem to reserve their worst behavior for this “special” day. This year was no different. The past couple of weeks have been some of the hardest weeks of parenting with one of our kids. This child seems to be in self-destruct mode, and Mother’s Day went off with a bang!
Another expectation shattered.
After I got over my initial reaction, I began processing the situation. It seems like the words “I deserve,” “It’s not fair,” and “I expected” all lead me down a path of disappointment. I began to wonder if it was my expectations that were the problem and not my children’s inability to meet them. The very fact that my children are still misbehaving is proof that they still need a mother. This may not have been what I wanted, but perhaps, this is the reminder that I needed.
For the past couple of years, I have been contemplating how dangerous the “I deserve” thinking can be.
I deserve to be respected.
I deserve a day off.
I deserve to have dessert.
The apostle Peter had a different perspective, and it just might be the truth I need for this Mother’s Day and all future ones to come.
“Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God” 1 Peter 2:16.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the significance of this verse. We all have an idea of what it means to live as people who are free, but what can that possibly have to do with living as servants of God?
Christ has given us freedom from our sin! I believe that only when we understand the freedom we have in Christ, can we possibly serve others without expectations. Whenever I start to think that I deserve a certain behavior or response, I have forgotten that I am first and foremost a servant of Christ. Christ deserved to be treated as our Lord and King, but instead He paid the punishment for our sins.
My sins.
How could I ever think that I deserve something better than Christ? He suffered for me so that I would have an example to follow (1 Peter 2:21). I deserved death, but instead I was given eternal life. No debt owed to me could ever compare to the debt that was already paid on my behalf.
That is what real freedom looks like.
I no longer have to hold other people’s debt over them.
I can freely serve them.
Maybe if I took this approach to Mother’s Day and every day for that matter, I would be disappointed less and content more often.
What is important is not that my children learn to spoil me for a day, it’s that they learn to follow in the footsteps of Christ. In order for them to do that, I must learn to live as a mom who understands her freedom.
To live as a servant of God.
For a brief moment, I thought this is where the blog would end, but God was not finished writing our story. As I watched my child fail to complete the chores given as a consequence for behavior this past weekend, I heard God speak to my heart, “Do the chores with your child.”
I know this was from God because I had no desire to take on their punishment, but instantly my heart was softened. This sweet child will continue to fail and let me down. They cannot possibly see their full potential and value, but I can.
When my kids got home from school, I told my kiddo that I would be doing the chore alongside them.
I asked, “Why do you think I would take on your punishment?”
The response was, “So that I’ll get it done faster.”
“No, my sweet. It doesn’t matter to me how long you work. I am taking on your punishment because Jesus took everything for me.”
This may be the only time I have weeded holding hands with someone! The weeds will come again, but seeds of grace were sown today.
I can’t think of anything better for Mother’s Day than for a mother and child to learn to walk one step closer to Jesus hand in hand.